remembering love
by Bam10049
Summary: This is the story of how Katniss and Peeta fell back in love after the war.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: hi ya. This is the first time that I have done one of these so sorry if you don't think its any good or the spelling or grammar is bad.**

**This is from Katniss' point of view. Its post mockingjay the day after she saw Petta. This is one of the way how I imagined they fell in love again.**

**Chapter 1**

_I'm running, covered in sweat. I look back and see the forest engulfed in flames and quickly coming towards me. I keep running as fast as I can, so fast I feel as if my feet are floating from underneath my tiring legs. As I'm running I see and glance at something in the sky, Rue. She is jumping from tree to tree effortlessly to get away from the everlasting flames. Within the blink of an eye Rue is gone and replaced by a similar girl, except blond and light skinned. She then falls from the trees screaming my name. I rush over to Prim, but it's too late. Her eyes lye open wide staring into mine. I start to cry and pull her close to me as her lifeless body just flops in my arms. I start to sing to her, like I did Rue when she died, and let the flames burn us both to ash._

I wake up scream and covered in sweat, like my dream. I sit up panting trying to catch my breath and separate reality from my dreams. I stair over at the door hoping, waiting for Peeta to come in and sooth me like he did before the Quarter Quell started. Seeing him yesterday, planting the primroses' for her, made me remember all the time we had together. I wish I had never let him go. But now he's back, and for the better. Before he was here I had no reason to shower, get dressed, brush my hair or even leave the house. With my mother in district 4, working in the hospital there trying to forget and move on, and gale in 2 with his new job, I had no one really to do anything for, other than myself. There was Haymitch of curse but he was too drunk to bother with me anymore. And myself, why should I take care about myself? I have killed thousands of people, including Peeta's family. Peeta. I don't know how to feel, I'm still confused about my feeling towards him. And then there's Gale. I haven't talked to him since I have returned to district 12. I don't know how I feel about him either. Other than myself, I can't help but to partly blame him for Prim's death. They did look a lot like his bombs, he even says so himself. But after everything that happened I don't know what to believe anymore.

I look up at the clock and see that it is nearing 7 o'clock. The sun beams in through the window. I fling my legs over the side of the bed, pull myself up and head towards the shower. There is no need to take off my clothes because I didn't bother to put any on last night before climbing under the covers. As I walk out of the shower I see myself in the mirror. This is the first time I've seen myself in a month. I walk toward the mirror to get a close look before quickly turning away because of disliking what I see. I am covered in burns from the fire. I get dressed into the first clothes I see and braid my hair into the easily recognisably hairstyle helping symbolise the mockingjay. I walk downstairs to be greeted by Greasy Sae making breakfast for me like she had been doing for the last month since I've been in 12. Without her I would have probably died of starvation by now not bothering to feed myself. I sit down at the table and Sae turns only to get a fright. "Oh my, I didn't hear you come in. Must have been all the hunting in the woods with Gale that made you quiet as a mouse" she says. I give a small smile and a laugh in return remembering all the times in the woods, even with Gale. I do miss it in there, it's been so long. "Im glad to see that you are feeling better" Sae places a bowl of soup and a slice of bread on the table. I see the bread and instantly know that it can only be made by one person.  
>"Did Peeta make this?" I ask Sae while lifting the loaf up to my nose to take in the smell.<br>"Yes." She replies "I saw him this morning as I was walking in, to my surprise. He gave them to me before walking towards town" I just close my eyes and let the bread take me away to memories of a happier time. I open my eyes and Greasy Sae is gone. I quickly eat my breakfast and head into the office to call Peeta. After seeing him yesterday and getting given the bread I must see him. I call his home just for it to continue ringing. I put down the phone and decide to wait for him outside his house until he gets home. I walk towards the door grabbing my jacket on the way out. It takes seconds to walk across the street to Peetas house. I know he hasn't locked the door, no one does, there's no need to. Even though I don't want to invade his home, so I stay on the porch. I mostly sit there steering at the primroses that Peeta planted outside my house thinking of Prim. I sit there for hour's thing of her and what I will say to Peeta when I see him, but nothing come to mind, he was always the more natural speaker. It's just turning winter but it's still warm enough that I'm not cold. I can see the sun lowering in the sky and realise that I have been sitting here all day. I know Peeta must be home soon, he won't stay our after dark, but before I know it my eyes are falling heaver and heaver until I'm sound asleep.

**So that was it. Hoped you liked it. This is a 5 chapter long story and is quite short. If you really liked it I can do another story or make an different ending to this one. Because I really liked writing it and would love to do another one if you guys liked xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I wake up in my bed confused. I hear Greasy Sae in the kitchen making dinner like normal. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen only to find that it's Peeta. I sit down at the table like I did this morning only purposely making a noise with the chair so Peeta knows in here. He stops his chopping vegetables for a second only to look at me, give a smile and continue chopping.  
>"Morning sleepy head" he says with a sarcastic but yet sweet tone in his voice.<br>"What happened?" I ask.  
>"Well I'm walking home only to find that someone had fallen asleep on my porch." Peeta says still holding that sweet sarcastic tone "So I carried you to bed so you could sleep. I saw Greasy Sae on the way back down stairs and told her to go home and that I would make dinner. I hope that's alright?"<br>"That's fine" I say remembering how selfless Peeta is.  
>"So why were you asleep on my porch then?" he says starting to place the food on the table.<br>"I came to talk to you, thank you for planting the flowers." he places some buns on the table that I can only remember to be cheese buns.  
>"That was no problem" he says laughing at me while my face lights up to the sight of the buns "I remembered they were your favourite" while poring himself some soup. I just smile at him and dive into the warm cheesy bun. They are just as good as I remember. "How have you been?" he asks with a look of concern on his face.<br>I take a moment to finish my mouthful of bun giving me time to think of a good answer "I've been alright" I say with a less confidant voice than I was hoping.  
>"And the nightmares?" he questions still holding that concerning face.<br>"Still the same. Getting worse actually, since you've not been with me" I look down at the table in embarrassment.  
>He takes a moment to actually understand what I said "If you need me all you have to go is ask and I'll be there"<p>

We finish eating dinner talking about what we have been up to in the last month. It's not a very riveting conversation seeing as we haven't been up to much. I've been sitting in the same spot for and Peeta has been sitting in a hospital. Peeta slowly stands up thanks me for the night and walks for the door. Just before he turns the handle I stop him "Peeta" he turns around and looks at me with a puzzled look. "Before, when you said that if I needed you would be here, did you meant that?" he turns and starts to walk towards me and places both hands on my shoulders.  
>"Of course I meant it. I will do anything to keep you safe. Whatever you need, I'll be there" he looks deep into my eyes shining his bright blue ones upon me.<br>"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask.  
>He smiles and pulls me in close for a hug and I rest my head on his chest so I can hear his heart beat. "Always" he whispers into my ear and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with joy. I break apart and entwine my finders with his leading him upstairs to my bedroom. We both slip straight into bed and start to fall asleep without another word. His arms are still strong and twice as comforting as I remember. I quickly fall asleep in his tight, warm embrace.<p>

**so that was chapter 2. i would love to know what you guys think of my story, if there is anyone actually reading it xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_I'm in a room where sitting in the middle is Peeta. He is screaming at me "you're a mutt! A filthy mutt! You have done nothing but killed thousands of people! You're a murderer!" I know he's fallen into a flashback. He tried reaching for me and I try reaching back. He is tied down to a chair and I'm chained to a wall. I know all he wants to do right now is kill me, but all I want is my old Peeta back._

I quickly wake up kicking and screaming only to find that Peeta has pulled me in close. His hands are stroking my head and he is whispering into my ear. "Shhhh, it's ok. I'm here, I will always be here." With this I quickly relax and embrace his hug. We break apart and look into each other's eyes. All of a sudden I find myself leaning towards him for a kiss. I give his a quick peck on the lips and he undoubtfully kisses me back. I am suddenly filled with hunger. The same hunger I had for him once before when all I wanted to do is to continue kissing him know he could only fill my hunger. With this I go in for a deeper and longer kiss. Once again he kisses me back and we pull each in closer, closing the gap between us. Peeta pulls his lips off mine and rests his forehead on mine.  
>"What's wrong?" I ask.<br>"Nothing. I just don't want us to rush into things again" he says softly.  
>"Ok" I say giving him one final kiss and we both lie back down to fall asleep.<p>

I wake up again around 8 o'clock to the sun beaming in through the window. I look over and see Peeta lying there peaceful. I lean over and give him a gentle kiss on the lips. His eyes flutter open and a smile crosses his face. "Morning" he whispers in his morning voice. His hand reaches up and wraps around my neck to pull me in again for another kiss.  
>"I'm going to have a shower" I say as I get out of bed and walk to the shower. The warm water feels nice agent my damaged skin. When I walk out of the bathroom I realise that I am completely naked, but Peeta isn't there. I put on some clothes and walk downstairs into the kitchen to find Peeta cooking like I did last night. I stand in the doorway of the kitchen just watching Peeta cook. I have never really seen him cook before, never really focused on it. But watching him, I realise I love it. He doesn't notice me until he turns to put some plates on the table.<br>"How long have you been standing the there?" Peeta asks continuing to set the table.  
>"Only a little while. I've just been you watching to cook" I say walking closer to him. He gives a small smile and a giggle pulling out a chair gesturing me to sit. I walk over to the chair and give in a kiss on the cheek before sitting down. We eat breakfast with little conversation but the silence isn't awkward. It's broken by the ringing of the phone. I leave the table and go into the office down the hall and pick up the phone.<br>"Hey Catnip."

**cliff hanger. you will have to keep reading to find out who it is, although i would be surprised if you didn't already know. please keep reading and review xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Gale?" what is he calling me? We haven't talked in a month, although he could have been calling but I never picked up the phone.  
>"You finally decided to pick up the phone. After a month of calling I finally get to hear your voice"<br>"yeah, well I was still healing before, but I'm feeling better now." I say with shock still I'm my voice  
>"that's good to hear, because I'm back in 12 and wanted to invite you hunting, like old times" says gale. Why is he back in 12, what's he doing here and inviting me hunting. I don't know if I should go. Especially because I don't know what his intentions are and I'm kinda with Peeta now, well... not really. But we did have that moment last night. I do really miss hunting though, it's been so long since I've been hunting, and it might be good for me.<br>"Ok, I'll meet you by the fence in 30 minutes" I hang up the phone without another word.

I walk out of the office and see Peeta doing the dishes. He takes a quick glance over at me and continues to wash the plates. "You didn't have to do that" I say being extremely grateful.  
>"You were on the phone and I wanted to help. What was it" he asks. I don't know if I should tell him it was gale, it might set off a flashback.<br>"It was the doctor, checking up on me" I lie. I can tell in his face that Peeta isn't convinced with my answer but doesn't say anything about it.  
>"So what's your plan for the day?"<br>"I was just about to go out hunting. I haven't been in so long and I thought it will be good for me" I say walking over to the cupboard to put my father jacket on and I grab my bow and arrows. It's been so long since I have felt the cold smooth leather of my father's jacket of the comfort that his bow can bring me. After a second I shake my head to remove myself from my daydream of when my father was still here. I can tell Peeta is looking at me  
>"I'll walk you out then" he says as he starts to walk to the door. We get to the middle of the path between our two houses and stop and stare into each other's eyes.<br>"What are you going to do?" I say trying to start anything before I see gale.  
>"I was thinking I might go and see Haymitch, see he's still breathing."<br>"That's a good idea, so I'll see you later then" I give him a kiss on the cheek and walk down to the fence without looking back.

I get to the fence early and sit there waiting for gale to arrive. I stare out into the forest where it looks untouched, compared to the district. I get lost in its beauty. Before I know it gale is walking past me. "Are you coming Catnip?" we are now racing through the forest to mine and gales special place. We have been coming here for years, ever since we were little. Now every time I come here it gives me a quick release from all the horrors that happened during the quarter quell and the war, but I know when I get home the nightmares will just return because prim won't be there. When we get there we sit down, I look over at him, give a big smile and wrap my arms around his neck. I then feel him slowly put his harms around my waist. "I missed you" he whispers into my ear.  
>"I missed you too" we pull apart and look into each other eyes. His aren't nearly as nice a Peeta's. I feel a small pain of gilt in my chest because of sitting here comparing gale to Peeta. Next thing I know gales has his hand around my neck and is pulling me in for a kiss. I don't know what to do but I find myself letting it happen. He softly places his lips on mine and pulls in for a harder kiss. It feels so familiar, but so different. It feels like Peeta's, but not. If it were Peeta's I know I would have the hunger for more by know, but I don't. The pain of guilt gets bigger in my chest. I pull away and stand up lends a hand to help gale up. "We going hunting or what?"<p>

We spend the rest of the day hunting in silence, not to scare away the game. It also gives me time to think, about what happened. His kiss was nice, but I didn't feel anything, not like Peetas. The guilt in my chest constantly increases as I keep comparing gale to Peeta, but it's helping me to realise. I love Peeta not gale. On the way home we have a full bag of game that I drop off to greasy sae as a thank you for taking care of me the last month. As gale walks me back to victors village I am first to break the silence. "so what are you doing back in 12?"  
>"I was feeling a little home sick. The forests out in district 2 are nothing compared to ours. And I came back to see you" he says as he looks me in the eyes. I look away because can't handle those puppy dog eyes.<br>"Oh" is all I have to say. He can tell I'm uncomfortable with this conversation and the silence falls again. We walk into victor's village and stand on my porch. I purposely don't invite him in because all I want him to do is leave to I can run over to Peetas house and into his arms. I can see lights on and smoke coming out his chimney, so I know he's at home.  
>"Katniss?" he says and I can tell by the sound in his voice and the look on his face that he wants to strike up the conversation about is again. "The reason I came back is because... because I realised that I love you Katniss." He leans in for a kiss and I turn so he gets my cheek. He pulls away fast.<br>"Gale... I-I don't think it's going to work out between us." I can see the disappointment in his face and the tears start to pile up in my eyes. "Maybe if I never went into those stupid games things would be different." The tears are starting to overflow and fall down my cheek where gales kiss still stands "and if were to together I don't think I could ever fully get over prim" the tears are flowing more heavily now  
>"I'm sorry. I never would have made those bombs if I know what Coin was going to use them for. I'm sorry. There's not a day that goes past that I don't blame myself for what happened. I'm sorry." I can see that he is starting to cry too. All I want to do I run for Peeta, I know he will be the only one that can make me feel better.<br>"I think it best if you leave now." He gives a quick nod and starts to walk down the stairs "I'll see you later" I say in hope of keeping a thread of our friendship. He doesn't even blind when I say this. I stand on the porch waiting for him to leave my sight before running to Peeta. Just as I'm about to start moving I hear a crash coming from his house. I run across the road screaming his name. "PEETA!" I come cashing in through the front looking for him. It doesn't take long for me to find him in the kitchen. His hands are gripping the side of the sink and his back facing me. The sweet on the back of his neck sparkles in the afternoon sun and I can see his chest moving rapidly. "Peeta?" I say softly moving slowly towards him. I know something not right. As I move closer into the kitchen I see a bowl fallen on the floor smashed into hundreds of peaces and flour coating everything within two meters of it reach. "Peeta? What's wrong?" at this moment he turns around. His face is flushed and sweaty. Then as soon I see that the blue in his completely gone I know he's having a flashback

**the next one is the final chapter :( if you would like and can write another story or add and change this one. please review and let me know xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**final chapter :(**

**Chapter 5**

He swings around and starts to rum towards me. I'm in shock, and my feet are only managing to shuffle across the floor taking to the middle of the lounge before he reaches me. Not slowing down he grabs me by the collar of my shirt and carries me across the room and pins me agents the wall. My feet are swinging and kicking in mid air trying to reach the ground. I can see the anger in his eyes, but there is no trace of the Peeta that I woke up with this morning.  
>"You're a mutt! A filthy stinking mutt! You killed everyone! My family! Prim! You're a mutt!"After saying this he threw me to my left into a cabinet breaking some glass and cutting my hands. He towers over me, about to kill me. There is nothing I can do. "Peeta. Stop. This isn't you. Come back to me. Please." I beg. But I know that my Peeta can't get got. The only thing I can hope is that I fall into unconsciousness before he kills me. The last thing I see is Haymitch hitting Peeta over the head.<p>

I open my eyes and see Haymitch sitting on the side of my bead "hey sweetheart" I try to reply but all that comes out is a groan. "You took a pretty nasty hit" I open my mouth again to try and talk  
>"what happened?" I manage to squeak out.<br>"Well I heard crashing and banging and then you yelling for Peeta. You seemed pretty scared. I could tell because they sounded like the screams in your nightmares" Haymitch says softly and looks down in embarrassment. I'm surprised that he heard me. Although, it does made sense. He doesn't sleep at night because of his own nightmares. "I came rushing in to see what had happened. Then I saw Peeta about to hurt you so I knocked him out." He says, and I'm surprised that he was sober enough to know hear us, let along come to my rescue.  
>"Where is he now?" I ask getting out of bed to go see him<br>"he's at his house. But he's not going to want to see you" se say while grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the bed. "He hates himself to hurting you like that, for even going into a flashback" I pull my arm out of his hand and walk out the room heading to Peetas house.

I walk straight into the lounge and through to the kitchen to find them both empty. I walk upstairs to also see is empty but I can hear the shower doing. I walk in to see Peeta crouched on his heels, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He's completely naked and doesn't see me. I grab a towel and turn the running water off and wrap the towel around him. He jumps and looks up at me. He then stumbles backwards and push himself against the wall. He looks completely terrified of me. "Katniss leave. It's not safe with me. I can't trust myself around you. I can't live with myself for hurting you." I grab another towel and crouch down in front of him and wrap that one around him as well. I look deep into him blue eyes. They are filled with terrier.  
>"It's ok. You're not going to hurt me; it was the hijack, not you." I say trying to relax him. I then sit in his lap, wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. He slowly wraps his hands around my wait and it not until now that he doesn't have is false leg on.<br>"Gale is in 12. Real or not real?" he asks with determination and I know he's trying to fight off another flashback.  
>"Real" I say<br>"you saw him yesterday and kissed him. Real or not real?"  
>"Real" I say to my own disappointment<br>"you love gale. Real or not real?" he asks  
>"not real" I whisper into his ear. I put my hand on his chin forcing me to see my favourite eyes; they aren't fully blue and can see him still fighting the flashback. I kiss him on the lips and he kisses me right back. We pull apart and I look back into his fully blue eyes, his flashback is gone. I help him stand and walk him over to the bed. I lean over to kiss him again, then the hunger returns. His hands wonder up my shirt and we break away to stare at each other.<br>"You love me. Real or not real?"  
>I whisper "real"<p>

**so that was the end of my first fan fiction. i had lots of fun writing it and i hope you liked reading it. if you think i'm not as crappy at writing stories as i think i am and would like me to add more to this one or start and other please leave a review of what you would like xx**


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